Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dear god my vagina.
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