how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
being pregnant is like rehab
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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