found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
