I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
