When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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