DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize