but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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