Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i dont even know how to be here
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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