if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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