Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
