Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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