Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
