On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Still dying that you shit outside
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
