my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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