normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
