You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
