is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
we're making bets on your personal life
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
