this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
