my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
