there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
