Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
