just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
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You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Everyone says I win the strip club
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.