i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
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can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
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I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen