I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he thought i was a dude.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.