How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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