Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize