You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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