whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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