Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
