I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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