You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
