i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
