Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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