Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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