I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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