I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
