finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
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they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
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I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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