A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
After tacos, we're chasing women.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
