Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
