The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
