Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
