After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
