i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just want nice things and good sex
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
