woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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