My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
