I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
