Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize