Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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