that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize