just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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