Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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