mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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