I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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