Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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