So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
