We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
