Cold hands, warm shart.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
