ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
try to milk me bitch
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