Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Who died my cat blue again?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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