i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
