Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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