I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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