so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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