White coat. Heels.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just want to make out with him forever
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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