im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
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